I am NOT a cookie cutter.
I am not a cookie cutter.
Recently I had a life changing experience where a director friend of mine had coffee with me and we talked about life, artistry and what lies ahead. What I really want to do with my life. And it left me intoxicated. I've always loved that word.
Among other amazing advice I was given, I was challenged with the question: “Do you really see yourself in the same box everyone else fits into? Do you really see yourself following the same path as everyone else leads?”
And my answer was a gut-wrenching, heart-racing, life changing HELL NO.
The day after (today in fact, as I am writing this) I had an audition, and as I was putting on my makeup my ever-supportive and true empath boyfriend told me: “Remember, don't be what you think they want you to be. That's not you. You underestimate yourself and what you bring to the table. You are your own sort of unique talent. Offer them that. Stop trying to be what you think they want and just be you.”
These things have offered me an epiphany.
Why the HELL should I stick to the trajectory for success that’s ingrained in society? Why should I put myself out there for jobs that aren't really me, only to be rejected because I wasnt “right” for the job?
Short answer: I shouldn't.
It's hard to write without sounding big-headed or pompous (or, to be honest, a bit wanky), but I've never really fit that cookie-cutter lifestyle. Never found myself sticking to the status quo. Never fit into that cramped, dark, claustrophobic box. Because thats not me. I'm different.
I do things because Im passionate for them. Because they fulfil me. Because I LOVE them. I may have lost sight of that because people, especially in the classical music industry, lead you to believe that there's a certain way that these things should be done. That's the way that they've always been and that's the way they always will be.
Well, that's not good enough.
I am an artist. I am different and why shouldn't I respect that and encourage that in myself? Cut the bullshit and take on projects that I will love, grow and expand from.
Because if I'm not expanding, I'm contracting.
I guess the point of this blog post is a reminder to myself and others that, outside of the institution bubble, panic and comparison will get you nowhere. It will only contract you. Being true to what you love, and revelling in the joy of it, will not only make you happy,
You will expand.